Paris Hilton - You need me as your VP!

Dear Paris,
I saw your video response to the presidential campaign advertisement (and response). I wanted to let you know that you should call me to be your VP. Why Peggy McKee? Well, you will need a balance (or you won’t win). So while you have a lot to offer the office, I could help you to sidestep some mistakes that will harm your candidacy and office effectiveness. Also, I am not as old as McCain (although with age and experience comes wisdom) or as weak as Obama (sorry but if I put him through one of my behavioral interviews, he would be in trouble). So we will be a step ahead from the beginning. Below I will list a few areas where I think I can be of assistance and you can let me know what the next step is….
1. I am great at identifying, targeting and acquiring the very best talent (I am a great recruiter) and have 9 years of experience doing this for companies that don’t have the resources that you will. You are going to need some strong talent around you in order to win and to perform in this position.
2. I understand presence and how your dress/manners/interactions will affect our voting public (it is the same with interviews). We will need to sit down and go over this, but I think it is safe to say that your advertisements will no longer be made on lawn chairs with skimpy swimsuits. This communicates a life of ease, very little work ethic and poor taste when it comes to your dress. I talk with candidates about this kind of thing all of the time. I am sure with some time, we can come to an agreement about what would be best for you (and our campaign).
3. I understand and love capitalism. I know that your family has enjoyed capitalism (so you probably feel the same). I think if we just put the right opportunities in front of the oil companies and other entrepreneurs like T. Boone, etc., we will be amazed about how this oil/gas can pan out. Oh - and I know that the tire pressure fix is just not going to do it.
4. Because I work in recruiting, I am acutely aware of the pain that some of our fellow americans are feeling (due to layoffs, business failing, etc). I am not sure that you will be as informed or able to commiserate at that level. I can provide that balance for you.
5. You seem a little air-headed. We will need to reduce those things that give that impression. Let’s forget about painting the white house pink (I know that change is good, but a lot of people reacted negatively to the last mention of a color change). And try to wear more colors that give off that impression - so less pink, okay?
6. Have you ever been in the military? Me, neither. But I have a lot of friends, family and business associates who have. So I suggest we do a good job of showing support for the incredible individuals they are. Could we try to influence the liberal news slant? Maybe you and I could figure out a way to get the real news out about our military and the amazing successes that they accomplish but no one talks about.
7. Social Media and the web are areas that you would need my focus. We have a lot of work to do. I had a guy lose a job opportunity the other day because of his myspace page. I think some of your stuff out there is worse. We will definitely have to work to clean it up.
8. Negotiations? Are you good at this? I am. I help candidates and companies come together with mutually agreeable terms (and then stay together for years). I can handle a lot of what you will struggle with here. But, before we get started, you must agree that there are issues, actions and statements that are unacceptable (and therefore non-negotiable). You will have to be prepared to walk with me when we face that type of situation. It is the right thing to do.
9. Children? I don’t think you have any. I do and that experience changes the way you view things. Again, I think I could add a lot of balance here.
So, Paris, think this over and let me know if you would like to continue these discussions.

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